Second Class Citizenship

The last two days in Hospet were quite difficult for me. We have rounded the halfway point of the trip and things, particularly the way women are treated, have gotten to me. I do not know first-hand how women are treated but I can speak about how I’ve been treated.

It is so interesting (and incredibly frustrating) to see the things that I have read about in women’s studies classes come to life. Where I have felt the most shafted, the most unequal to men, has been in restaurants.

Going out to eat is completely male dominated. You never see women unless they are with their families but you will see tons of men, married or unmarried, drinking and hanging out together. The waiters are all male too. While I am getting less freaked out about the constant male gaze (being stared at throughout a meal by the men), I am having trouble getting used to being ignored.

The waiters at restaurants will literally walk away from me in mid-sentence to help an arriving male customer. They won’t listen to my requests and won’t think twice about not bringing me something I ask for. I can get over a forgotten piece of toast but there’s something about losing my voice…my voice not mattering... that really gets to me.

My whole life I’ve been taught that this thing I call my voice is my ticket. I use it to speak up for myself. I don’t use it at times to prove a point, to rise above someone else’s anger. I use it wrongly to lash out when I feel like it. I can’t imagine not having a voice. And yet, here in India, without even a say in the matter, my voice is being silenced.